Frugal Friday Tip - Pregnancy stuff

Today I'll feature my Friday Frugal Tip with pregnancy stuff. I'm sorry for this boring subject for most of you, especially men, but hey it's my blog and I can do what I want. :) You can't tell what's on my mind huh? (I hope this is my last Friday being pregnant this time around, we'll see.)

Belly Band - There are many companies coming out with "belly bands" or "belly socks." They were called "unit belts" in the 80's. :) I re-invented them by just taking an old shirt (tight baby-tee) and cutting the top off with pinking shears. The bottom is still good to be seen and there is no reason that I have to hem the top since it's always covered with another shirt. I've been able to extend the use of my normal jeans & pants by unzipping and just covering up with the belly band. It's also a good trick for those shirts that are too short. I use it later for nursing to cover up my after-pregnancy blubber while my shirt is raised to breastfeed.

Rubber-band trick - Before you start using even the belly band, the rubber band trick is good for those first few times you start realizing that you middle is expanding. Simply tie/loop a rubber band onto the top button hole of your jeans and then fasten onto the button. It gives you that extra inch that you need. I googled a picture here.

Midwife - I chose to use a midwife for these last two pregnancies. Our insurance covers her just the same as an OB/GYN. She could techinically cost the same as just the doctor's bill, but often times she asks me before she performs any tests. If something is not necessary for me, then we don't do the test, and it ends up not costing me. A doctor would probably just do the routine tests anyway. Because I'm not planning on using medical interventions, using a midwife should be cheaper. We won't have to pay an anethesiologist fee, or even a facility fee for this planned home birth. I also feel that in this case, cheaper is better. A midwife gives you quality time for non-complicated births.

Cravings - I am fortunate to not have crazy pregnancy cravings. There have been a few times that I've wanted something that could classify as a pregnancy craving though. Instead of quickly jetting to the store or restaurant, I try to make something else at home that's hopefully cheaper and healthier. I wanted a Wendy's Frostie and instead I got a frozen banana and blended it with homemade yogurt. It was tasty and satisfying! Also, drink water! If you have a craving, drink a tall glass of water first and then see if you're still hungry. (P.S. - For those pregnant ladies who crave dirt, eat a potato!)

Clothes - I've gotten most of my maternity clothes for free or very cheap.

• I'm grateful that my mom purchased some of them and my sister and I have shared the clothes between our 5 pregnancies. Some are getting quite worn out though.
• I've gotten a couple bags of maternity clothes from freecycle. Many people give away their old maternity clothes, and if you can find the right size for you, it's a great deal to get the whole bag of free clothes.
• Kid-to-Kid has a section for maternity clothes. I've gotten a few clothes there. I actually ended up taking some of the free clothes I got from freecycle that I couldn't wear (like the short shorts and tank tops) and trading them for maternity clothes more modest. They paid me for the clothes I donated and gave me a little extra if I used it as in-store credit.
• I've gotten a few maternity clothes at thrift stores, particularly Thrift Town. They do 50% off for certain colored tags each day and there are often $3 off $10 coupons out there from ValPak. I got some cute maternity jeans and a basic white shirt for $3!
  

Update - Q&A style

Here are some recent questions or comments that I've had in the last 24 hours.

Person: "Are you still here?"
Me: "Yep, I'm still here."

Person: "Wow, look at you! The baby has dropped."
Me: "Yeah, he's low and I'm ready."

Person: "When are you due?"
Me: "In about a week and half, so anytime is good with me!"

Person: "No offense, but you can't get any bigger!"
Me: "Yeah, I'm pretty big, it's quite a shelf."

Person: "Now when exactly are you due?"
Person: "In about 2 weeks, March 6th, 3-6-9."

Person: "Wow, you're here and all in one piece!"
Me: "Yes I'm here and wish I was in two pieces."

Person: "How do you feel?"
Me: "Tired."

Person: "What are you doing still here?"
Me: "Well, we went for a walk to try to jump start things but so far nothing."

After our walk yesterday I was not feeling well. I don't think I'll "try" to help things along since it wore me out. If I would have started labor I would have been too tired to endure much of anything. Darrell asked:
Darrell: "What are you ailments?"
Me: "I'm emotional and it hurts all right here." (Pointing to my waist, back & lower abdomen.)

Okay, there you go, that's my update. Any other questions or comments? Bring it on.

Top 10 reasons we love our midwife

Top 10 reasons we love our midwife:
10. It's a family affair - the whole family enjoys the 1 hour visit.
9. We spend quality time with her, not a 10-minute quickie.
8. She does everything (blood pressure, sampling, etc.)
7. Darrell gets to play around on the weight scale.
6. She has fun toys & books for the kids.
5. She is very informative and you never feel silly asking her any question.
4. Her birthing suite has a cozy atmosphere.
3. She gets to know me and the family, I'm not just a name in her file cabinet.
2. I can email her and she'll respond back.
1. We learn that there is no heart in your bum... (see video below)

The shelf

You know you're a big pregnant woman when random strangers start commenting on your belly. "Whoa that baby is low!"

I have quite the shelf now-a-days. Today in Primary I helped the chorister hold some laminated paper-sized posters and I didn't even need to use my hands, I just put them on my shelf. The kids and adults had a good laugh. :)

This is me on Dec 21 (29 weeks) compared to today at 34 weeks. I'm quite pointy and large.

Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion

Today I got emotional...that's not an uncommon thing for me right now due to the pregnancy, but today I wanted to share the reason I got emotional.

We were doing our usual family home evening and Salem updated the FHE chart to assign himself to do the lesson and the scripture.
1. He read one verse of scripture; just like he usually does for his bedtime routine. He's getting better and better at reading the hard words every day.
2. For the lesson he got the children's Book of Mormon Stories and read to us the chapter about Nephi building the ship. I was a hesitant at first about him reading it since I figured I'd have to help him a lot and he'd get frustrated. I ended up only helping him with only 2 or 3 words and he read the rest himself! After the first few picture captions I just broke out in hysterical tears which quickly turned into a chuckling laugh because I pictured how ridiculous I must have been, yet I was laughing from being overjoyed.

Geez pregnancy does a lot of crazy stuff to you...but I am very proud of Salem for learning to read so well, good work!

Ultrasound Pictures

For those of you who have been too lazy to figure out the gender math equation, maybe this will be a better hint for you:


Here are the pictures from the ultrasound. They even did some 3D images. They looked at the x,y, and z coordinates and the computer produced a 3D image. The computer finds everything and then the technician has to "photoshop" out all the other tissue etc to find the baby, so that's why it looks like a baby that is not all the way formed. (I've seen random pictures online of 3D ultrasounds and thought they looked creepy, but now that I understand how they do it, and that it's my baby, it looks okay.) Our baby's feet were up cross-legged around his head, so the technician even removed one of his legs so we could see his face on the 3D pics.

Gender math

Drum roll...we had our ultra sound and in order to announce the gender of baby #3, I'm going to make you do a little math. :)

(Where D= Darrell and H=Heather)

Here are some hints if you don't know the years:
Sqrt[(Baby’s birth year - D & H wedding year) + (H’s birth year - D’s birth year)]

The answer will be the number of letters in the word "boy" or "girl" and then you'll know.

Salem's Birth Story

Today is Salem’s 5th Birthday, Happy Birthday Salem! To commemorate his birth, here is his birth story.

Warning: this is a long post, and has a lot of information, possibly even “TMI”, read this if you’re interested in birth stories, otherwise skip it! :) This also is not only his birth story but also my labor and post-op story. It’s been 5 years and my memory is already fading but I think I’ve got most of the (too-much) detail. I had an OB/GYN for his birth and 5 years ago, I liked my doctor and I thought the birth went well. I realize now that I was ignorant about a lot of issues and just went with the standard/regular birth and trusted the medical people instead of owning my own mind and making informed decisions. Had I been informed and made my own decisions, I don’t really know what I would have done; it may have ended up being the same labor & delivery but I’ll never know. I don’t necessarily regret anything that happened. I want Salem to know that his birth was a positive experience, and I’m glad that he’s a happy healthy boy. I just want you, the reader, to not judge and base your decisions about birth based on my experience alone. Please know your facts and make your own decision, every person and every birth is unique.

Salem’s Birth Story

Here is a little background to set the mode of the birth story: I was working at Overstock.com and decided to take a leap of faith and quit work to stay home with the baby after he was born. I thought I was due August 30th, so by the first part of August I had already divvied out most of my job duties and was just doing busy work waiting out my final days. Although it was August, I didn’t have such a “terrible summer pregnancy” because I was in an air conditioned office, car & home every day.

Friends & family had thrown me showers so I felt somewhat ready to have this baby. At one shower, everyone guessed when the baby would be born, and my friend promised that she’d give the winner a prize. I participated as well, and happened to guess August 21st.

It was Wednesday August 20th and I was scheduled for my weekly OB/GYN appointment. I left work a little early to catch the last appointment of the day. Darrell met me there and after the standard OB/GYN waiting time, we went in for our check-up. The nurse did the usual thing, weighing & measuring me, including taking my blood pressure. After waiting a little longer, Dr. Gemmell came in for her 5 minute consultation.

She was concerned with my blood pressure, it was a little high. (Well what do you expect when you have to rush here straight from work, and climb a couple flights of stairs?) She had been watching my high blood pressure for the past few weeks (concerned about preeclampsia) and even had me take my blood pressure at home. At home I used my brother’s automatic blood pressure machine; it was always normal and not high. I didn’t quite believe the nurse’s blood pressure reading because a few times they took the blood pressure at the end of the appointment, after I had relaxed, and it was lower than when I had just gotten there.

Dr. Gemmell said that because my blood pressure was high and it put me at risk for preeclampsia, that I should just go ahead and induce labor. She looked at her schedule and said that we could be induced the following day. She also said “Let’s see…your due date was August 16th so...” I interupted “Uh, no I thought it was August 30th!” So still to this day I don’t know the real “due date” of Salem and I don’t know if he was “early” or “late!”

She left the room for a minute so Darrell and I could think about being induced and tell her our decision. I was in denial, could I really have this baby tomorrow? I’m not ready! This can’t be happening! Darrell, being calm yet excited, told me “Let’s have this baby tomorrow!” After a few more coaxes and realizing that I’d win the birth date guessing game I finally consented to being induced the following day on August 21st.

We talked to the doctor and we were supposed to check-in to the hospital tomorrow morning at 8:00 AM. I left the medical office and was just in awe. Oh boy, what am I in for?

I immediately went home and started getting everything ready (nesting instinct.) I even took a trip to Babies R Us to pick up a few last minute things. Darrell and I decided that we wouldn’t tell anyone that we’d be induced so that everyone would be surprised when we told them the baby was born. I talked to my mom that night and it was hard for me not to say anything, but I somehow managed to not let the cat out of the bag. (Or the baby out of the womb! :) Okay stupid pun…)

Thursday morning Darrell and I left for the hospital and I called my boss while enroute to tell her that I was going to the hospital. She hadn’t arrived to work yet, so I left a voice mail.

We checked in to the hospital and they got me gowned up, monitors on and ready to be induced. About 9:00 AM is when they gave me pitocin and my doctor came in to break my water. She said that she was going to the office and she’d check on me at the end of the day. (I thought she was kidding, of course I wouldn’t still be in labor by the end of the day. I’ll have this baby out in the next few hours for sure!)

After they broke my water, my belly looked very funny. It was no longer a basketball, it was a baby with skin on top, that’s when I knew that there was no turning back.

It didn’t take long for my mom to figure out where I was and we got a phone call. She said that she had been trying to call me at work and I wasn’t picking up the phone. After a few separate phone calls, my boss picked up my phone and answered “Heather’s phone…” My mom replied “Uh, may I speak to Heather?” Kamie told her that I hadn’t come in for work today and she didn’t know where I was. (Later I realized that Kamie is notorious for not checking her voicemail. After the baby was born I called her and she mentioned that she didn’t know where I was. I told her I had left her a voicemail and she said “Heath…you know me!” My co-workers, of course, figured out that I must be in labor and called around a couple of hospitals to find which one to send flowers to. They were beautiful, thank you!

Okay, okay, back to the birth story…

My doctor told me that I could get an epidural and any stage of my labor, so I figured the sooner the better. I got an epidural after I felt the first mild contraction. From then on, it was quite boring. The most painful thing for my whole labor ended up being the poke from the IV needle. Darrell was ready to be my “labor coach” but I really didn’t need anything so we just sat around.

My mom and John (step-dad) surprised us, and came to the hospital. I told them that there was no need for them to be here since I had the epidural and was just sitting around waiting. With my permission, they took Darrell out to lunch and stopped off at our house to pick up a few movies.

Darrell and I watched Steel Magnolias and Return to Me, two of my favorite movies. My mom stayed in the waiting room for most of the day and even had my sister Holly come after work and wait around. I felt bad because there was no need for them to sit there and wait for me.

Finally about 6:00 PM the nurses came in and said that I was progressing enough and nearing the end. My doctor came (yep, after her day at the office like she had said) and got me in position (convenient for her) to push. Darrell held one of my legs and a nurse held the other leg up in the air. A student doctor attended my birth also. At about 6:30 PM the doctor looked on the monitors for my contractions and told me when to push. I could barely feel myself pushing because of the epidural. The nurse holding my leg kept telling me “push push push push push” in a rhythmic tone that descended with each word. Darrell and I still laugh about that, and Salem loves to hear it too.

I pushed for a little while and then they gave me oxygen, it was hard work! I ended up pushing for an hour and Salem Wallace was born at 7:20 PM on August 21, 2003. 7 lbs 1 oz, 19 1/2 inches long. He came out a healthy boy and the moment I heard his little whimper I started crying because reality hit me that he was really my son! They laid him on my belly and my doctor quickly said “Dad, do you want to cut the cord?” Darrell and I didn’t really respond quickly to her question so she ended up cutting the cord. They covered him with blankets and brought him up higher to my chest for me to hold him. I was preparing myself for a newborn baby that could be blotchy with different colors etc, but he was beautiful!

After a few moments, Darrell took him to be weighed, measured and to get his foot prints (still in the same room.) I still had to push to get the placenta out and also noticed in the mirror that they were stitching me up. :( I had not known that my doctor did an episiotomy on me (both up and down) even though she had specifically said months prior that she almost never does them. (Yes I could have been the exception, but you never know. Most doctors could have waited that extra 5 minutes to let the cervix soften by itself.)

They brought Salem back over to me and my mom and family came into the room to meet him. My mom was very excited to see her first grandchild, and was especially glad that she was in Utah since she and John were currently was serving an LDS mission in Monterrey Mexico and was on “leave” for a few weeks to see the family.

I laid on the bed and the nurse helped me breastfeed Salem. He seemed to latch on okay but was quite tired. After a little bit of breastfeeding, Darrell took him to get his first bath while I ate some dinner. That food actually tasted really good, I was hungry! :)

They transferred me to the post maternity ward just as the nurses were changing shifts for the night. Darrell brought in Salem and he looked so different after his bath! His hair was so soft and he smelled good.

Darrell decided to go home for the night since he’d get a better night’s sleep in his own bed, so I said goodbye to him and then it was just me and my new baby. I didn’t really know what to do. This was my first baby plus I was the youngest child and didn’t really grow up being around too many babies, let alone a newborn.

Being the new naïve mom, I checked on him as he made every whimper. I even raised my bed as high as I could to stare at him eye-to-eye since his little bassinet was high for my bed. One nurse assistant came in to check my vitals and was shocked to see my bed so high and lowered my bed. An hour went by and I expected that the nurses would come in and tell me what to do or at least check in on me since I still had my IV. (This was the first time staying overnight in a hospital.) I pressed the nurse call and finally someone answered through the speaker. I said “Am I supposed to nurse my baby now?” She said “Yes, you can do that, go ahead.” So, I got Salem out of his little swaddling blankets and tried to nurse him by myself and it wasn’t working. He was just too tired & sleepy. I was getting frustrated that my baby would not latch-on and the nurses didn’t come in to help me. I was a post-partum emotional wreck and after trying numerous times to call the nurses I ended up calling Darrell at midnight to make him come back to the hospital to help me. I figured that he would come faster than the nurses. He was asleep and was very drowsy on the phone; he was trying to convince me that he didn’t need to come and that the nurses would be there shortly. Just as I was saying goodbye to him, the nurse finally came in.

After that , things started getting better. The nurses understood that they had an emotional first-time mom and a very sleepy baby that would not breastfeed. They tried many times to help Salem latch on to the breast, we even got him down to his diaper so that the coldness would wake him up a little. No budge. This little boy was tired and he wasn’t going to wake for anyone! :) Now I realize that his sleepiness was probably an effect of the epidural. I had the epidural way too soon and for way too long. (I didn’t think about the effects of an epidural on the postpartum baby when I had planned on an epidural months prior. My doctor also didn’t tell me any warnings or reasons behind waiting for a certain stage in the labor to administer the drug.)

Long story short, (though this is still quite long.) The next morning I had the hospital’s lactation consultatnt help me. We still couldn’t get him to wake up very much or latch on very well. She gave me an SNS and we finger fed him after trying to latch him on each time. The finger feeding was okay since it still helped him get used to skin to skin contact, but we still needed to get him nursing.

Many people came to see Salem on Friday and welcome him into the world. I was glad to see everyone. My doctor came to check on me and was surprised when she found out that I still had my IV until 8:00 AM the next day. The nurses were supposed to take it out when I got to the post maternity room. The student doctor came to visit and she said thank you for letting her attend the birth. She said it was great and that Dr. Gemmell was amazing under the circumstances. (Huh? What circumstances? Was this not a normal birth?)

We were scheduled to leave the hospital Saturday morning and by that time nursing still was not established. As a last resort, the lactation consultant gave me a nipple shield to use but warned me not to rely on it. The nipple shield seemed to do the trick. He was latching on, and actually nursing for a few minutes before he’d fall asleep.

We drove home with now three in our family. We put Salem in his crib and I went to bed. We had visitors that day, I was asleep for some of them and wasn’t woken up and I was awake for others. The next day (Sunday) Darrell wanted to take Salem to church with him and let me rest but I didn’t want Darrell to get all the glory :) I wanted to see the people’s faces when they first saw Salem too. So, our little family went to church at 9:00 AM. Everyone was happy yet shocked to see us there. I felt okay just as long as I was sitting but later I realized that I “over did it” those first few days at home. On Monday we visited both Darrell’s and my employer to show off Salem. That week Darrell stayed home with us to help and the next week Darrell was back at work and mom had also gone back to Mexico. Being a first-time stay-at-home mom was challenging and emotional but I loved Salem very much and was glad for the opportunity.

The nursing situation was still quite challenging. The first few days home I tried using the SNS for finger feeding as well as attaching it to the breast but it was just messy and frustrating. I was engorged on day 3 and ended up renting a hospital-grade pump to help establish my milk supply. I started using the nipple shield more and more and that seemed to be the best solution. I was very happy that I was breastfeeding him but I hated relying on the nipple shield. One time I was away from home and forgot the shield so I had to go home to nurse him. I was also told [wrong] information that the nipple shields were not good and that they decrease your milk supply. I learned later that it was a myth because 30 years ago nipple shields were made differently and not very good, but today they were made with silicone and shaped appropriately so they were not bad to use. The hardest part was weaning him from the shield. I’d try to latch him on then quickly yank it out but that turned into a mess.

I talked to a La Leche League leader and also went to a local La Leche League meetings. She suggested that I cut the shield every few days so that it gets smaller and smaller eventually small enough to just be my nipple and not the shield. The trick worked! After 6 long weeks, one night Salem was using the shield and it fell off and he sleepily latched on! Yeah! The next morning we were completely nursing and I was a happy camper. I even emailed my mom (on her mission) and said “I can see clearly now the rain is gone!”

I am thankful for the opportunity to mother Salem. I was the classic example of a naive first-time mom. And I hope that you have learned something from my experience. I shared a little more than just the birth story because a lot of times some of the detail doesn’t get known and then another mom will be having a similar experience thinking “I’m all alone!”

Salem, happy birthday! I love you to infinity!

Affirmative

It's affirmative that we're pregnant. We even saw the little gummy bear on the monitor from the small ultra sound machine. I even have a picture, but I don't think I'll post it since no one would be able to tell what anything is. It looks like a circle with a dot inside. That dot is our 2-inch fetus.

I've said before that I love my midwife. We met with her for over an hour and just chatted. Salem & Oaklen got to play with toys in the exam room while Darrell and I talked to her. Salem helped take my blood pressure and even helped shake the blood samples.

From the measurement on the ultra sound she said I was 8 weeks and 2 days. So that gives me a due date around the first part of March.

We were so good that we all got stickers and I got a Hello Kitty band aid.

I'm thankful for this family event, and was sad to think that at my next appointment Salem will miss it since he'll be in school.

Oaklen's Birth Story

Today is Oaklen's birthday, he's 2 yrs old!

My friend Catey posts her birth stories on her blog when it's her child's birthday and I like that idea so I'm going to do it too! Warning: this is a long post, and has a lot of information, possibly even “TMI”, read this if you’re interested in birth stories, otherwise skip it! :)

Oaklen's Birth Story
First of all you'll need a little background. When I was pregnant with Oaklen (Okay Darrell, now is your time to chime in and say "you can't be pregnant with..."), I was working at Overstock.com.

My due date was June 9th and I planned on working through the end of May and begin working from home June 1st. That way I wouldn't go into labor with all my worried co-workers. :) Every day I'd leave work, my friends would wonder if I'd be back the next day; then when I arrived bright and early the following day, they'd all take a sigh (of relief since they didn't want me to leave!) For some co-workers this was their first experience dealing with a pregnancy so it was quite interesting. They watched my belly (and my nose) get bigger, I let them touch my stomach (don't listen to that HR department), they wondered "what on earth is she eating now?", they helped me think of names, and they placed bets to see if the baby was a boy or a girl.

Since it was my second boy, there was no need to throw me a shower but a bunch of my co-workers wanted to have a party/shower anyway. They talked to me and I decided to schedule it for Wednesday May 31. Monday would be the Memorial Day holiday and Tuesday didn't work since some would still be on vacation so we decided on Wednesday May 31 for the shower.

I went to work on Tuesday May 30 and had a great work day. For some reason, I had a feeling that I should bring home the laptop and a few work supplies "just in case." I figured I would just bring them back the next day.

I got home and Darrell was there with Salem, Candace, and Eli. Candace & Eli had come over to do some laundry at our house (since we offered) and then stayed to eat good ol' frozen burritos with us for dinner. I wasn't really feeling too well, but didn't really do much about it since my friends were over, I just put my head on the table and let my belly hang over and that seemed to help my discomfort. (Little did I know that those were probably mild contractions!)

After we ate, (about 6:30 PM) Salem wanted to go show Candace & Eli his new bedroom upstairs. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, I felt a rush, and then suddenly REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and thought that I “didn’t make it.” I thought that it was strange since that hasn’t really happened to me before. Then I realized “oh, maybe that was my water breaking!” I didn’t want to believe it; I wanted to fake myself out of it. Was this it? Was I really going into labor? ( I hadn’t experienced these things on my previous pregnancy since I was induced and had an epidural so I felt like I never had a real “labor” experience, I didn’t even know what a contraction felt like.)

After I realized what might be happening, I yelled “Um Darrell, will you come here for minute?” Darrell came in and I sheepishly told him that I thought my water had broken. Darrell: “What? Can’t you tell if you’re water broke or not?” Heather: “Well I don’t know… it’s weird.” Darrell: “Well what else could it be? You’re 9 months pregnant and it’s bound to happen!” So, Darrell finally convinced me that I was in labor. While I was changing into different pants, Darrell told Candace & Eli that I was in labor. I came out of my room and looked at Candace with a worried, unbelieving face and said “I guess this is it!” They collected their laundry and said goodbye and good luck. (One a side note, it’s funny that they were there when I went into labor because they were also there the night that I found out that I was pregnant. We had taken a home pregnancy test that evening and they came over 30 minutes later and Darrell, of course, had to tell them!)

I called my mom and asked her what “water breaking” feels like and she said that yes I had probably broken my water. I called my midwife and told her what had happened. She said that she happened to be at the office (even though she took the day off) and to come in and get checked to verify that it truly was amniotic fluid. I then called my mom back to have her meet us there so she could take Salem home with her if needed.

We arrived at the birth center and Rebecca, my midwife, verified that it was amniotic fluid and I was in labor. She was excited of course, but the week prior, she told me that I "couldn't" go into labor on May 30 or May 31 since she paid for this midwife conference that she was going to attend and jokingly said that all of her patients weren't supposed to go in labor then. :) I felt bad that I was going to disrupt her non-refundable conference.

I still wasn't really feeling any contractions but since my water broke Rebecca said that if I don't have the baby within 24 hours that I'd have to be transferred to the hospital. She set me up on the fetal monitoring system for just a while to track my labor. She had to tell me that I was having a contraction! I thought "Oh, is that was they feel like?" I was thinking more about the juice that she gave me and my family than my contractions.

It was about 7:30 PM and we decided to head home to labor there and then call Rebecca when things started to pick up. (I didn't expect to call her until late morning the next day.)

My mom followed us home so that she could get Salem's overnight bag. I kissed Salem & my mom goodbye about 9:00 PM and then it was just Darrell, me, and my belly that was starting to look like a baby with a bunch of skin over it.

Darrell and I knelt together and said a prayer, and then I headed upstairs to "rest" while Darrell finished cleaning up the kitchen and living room. (He had the nesting instinct too!)

I knew that rest was a good thing that laboring women needed so I went straight to bed and closed my eyes to sleep. I thought that I could sleep through the contractions. I stayed lying down in the bed for a few of the first contractions but they were distracting enough that I couldn’t sleep. I then started to sit up when I had a contraction they lay back down (on my side) after it was over. The contractions were then coming closer & closer together so I remained sitting up. I instinctively started to rock my body from side-to-side and just breathe deeply when I had a contraction. (Later I likened that to when the Polynesians rock/sway side-to-side after they have eaten a big meal to help them digest their food. If it works for them, it’s got to work for helping the baby get in place too.)

The contractions were getting to a point that I no longer wanted to do it by myself and wished that Darrell would finish cleaning and come upstairs to help me. Luckily he must have heard my unsolicited wish and came upstairs in a timely manner.
It was about 11:00 PM by then and Darrell was excited that the contractions were happening. We sat on the bed together, he behind me, and I grabbed his hand whenever I started to feel a contraction. I didn’t really want to talk so the only way he knew I was contracting was when I squeezed his hand. He noticed that they were getting pretty close together so he grabbed a pen & paper to time the contractions. After a short while, I wanted him to stop writing them down and to focus on me instead of the paper. He kept telling me that these contractions were quite close and that we should call Rebecca. I was still faking myself out of it and thought that we still had a lot of time to go.

I decided that I should try to get up and go to the bathroom. As I was getting up, I had another contraction. Darrell was quickly right there, and got up so quickly that he stepped on the garbage can next to the bed and smashed a hole in it. (To this day, I haven’t gotten a new garbage can because it still works and does the job, plus it’s a fun memory every time I look at it.)

Anyway, I made it to the bathroom and after a few more contractions; I had the urge to push. Darrell ran to get the phone to call Rebecca. While he was dashing for the phone, I let out a yell for the first time and it felt good to use my vocals. I remember learning that when you think it’s getting too hard to manage, that it was almost over. I was now hoping that this was “it,” though I was still preparing myself for possibly more hours of intense labor.

Darrell arrived back upstairs with Rebecca on the phone. By now it was almost 12:00 midnight. I wasn’t in the mood to talk on the phone but Darrell wanted me to talk to her. I just yelled from a distance and said “I’m pushing!” I heard Rebecca say “Heather, don’t push, don’t push!” She wanted me to wait until we arrived at the birth center so she could see if I really was ready to push.

We got off the phone and collected our things to go to the birth center. It took me a while to get from my bedroom all the way to the car in the garage. I kept crossing my legs, and holding my hand down there as I walked. I’m sure that the walking helped Oaklen get down into place.

We hopped on the freeway and went a little over the speed limit but not too much. When we exited the freeway and traveled down the street to the birth center, we wanted to go faster but there was a slow car in front of us. It’s quite ironic that the one time that we could warrant breaking the speed limit, we couldn’t because there was a slow car in front of us, at 12:15 in the morning!

We arrived at the birth center and Rebecca was already there. The nurse/owner, Susan, arrived shortly after. Months earlier, I had chosen “my room.” I chose the ivy room since the bed looked like our bed at home and there was a nice big tub. We went in the room and Rebecca was already starting to fill the bathtub. I started taking off my clothes to prepare for the bath and Rebecca looked down there and said “I see a head!” Heather: “Good!” Rebecca: “Do you want to push?” Heather: “YES!” They stopped filling up the tub and drained it since I was ready to push. I got on the bed and laid on my left side to push. It felt the most comfortable.

Meanwhile Darrell and I realized that we forgot the camera! I told him to call my mom to go get the camera. She woke up and left Salem sound asleep with John (my step-dad) and came to the birth center. She gave us her brand new digital camera still in the box and wanted us to use that one. I told her that I’d prefer to use our camera so we gave her our keys for her to go to our house to get it. She left for our house, I was pushing, and Darrell was fiddling with the new camera trying to see if he could get it charged. I quickly told him to forget about the camera, and to just come on the bed and be with me. (Throughout the whole labor I was proud of myself that I didn’t get too ornery and start yelling at people. I anticipated that I’d do that. You’ll have to ask Darrell for sure if I was as nice as I think I was, but I thought I did pretty well.)

I didn’t count how many pushes that I did, it was more than just a few but it wasn’t an hour like last time. Rebecca and Susan were really great and patient. They knew just the thing I needed at every moment. Darrell also was a great labor coach, I mainly just needed him beside me for moral support and to hold my hand or stroke my hair.

Oaklen officially arrived at 1:10 AM on Wednesday May 31, 2006, less than an hour from the time that I arrived at the birth center. My mom happened to come in with the camera just after Oaklen was born so we were able to get some “right-after” pictures.

The moment Oaklen was born, Rebecca laid him on my chest & belly, skin to skin, and draped blankets around the both of us. He stayed on my belly for a while then he nursed for even longer. My mom said congratulations and then headed home to finish her sleep. Darrell and I sat on the bed and just stared at our new son. After about an hour Darrell finally got to hold him and weigh & measure him while I got up and took a shower. Oaklen was 7 lbs, 10 oz and 20 inches long. After the shower, I came back to the bed and slept/rested with Oaklen by my side for the remainder of the night. Darrell tried to sleep there on the bed too, but since he has a hard time sleeping anywhere except his own bed, he decided to get up and go to another room to watch a movie. Rebecca went home to sleep and Susan stayed there and snored in the next room, loud enough that Darrell could hear it.

We got up about 7:00 AM. I called my mom to tell her to bring Salem to meet Oaklen. Rebecca came about 8:00 AM and gave me an exam to make sure everything was okay. She and I were happy that she could still make her conference that she paid to attend that day. :)

My mom came with Salem and he got to meet his new brother. He was very happy and gave us a rose from Grandma’s garden. I got myself and Oaklen dressed and our family of now 4 headed home. We arrived home about 9:45 AM. It was great to be home with the comforts of my own house.

Many people came to visit that day and by the end of the day, I was quite tired! My co-workers still threw me the shower even though I wasn’t there. They even brought over the presents that evening. Thanks!

Oaklen’s birth story will be an experience that I’ll never forget. It was amazing and there is nothing that I would have done differently!

Happy Birthday Oaklen, I love you!